I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wish you could order shots online.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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