I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
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He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize