the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
