I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
