I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
