Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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