I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If I die, sorry about rent.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
