its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
