okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
