I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
