i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
