I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
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blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
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Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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