Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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