Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
