This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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