"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
