I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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