i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
