yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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