The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
not ubering you a puppy
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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