Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
