my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
