if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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