margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
