24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
