the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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