3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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