I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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