I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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