i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
