But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
