Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Pooping to opera.
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