one might say we're banned from that church
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize