so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
4 words: hood of his car
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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