That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
