You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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