when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
