I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
