maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
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I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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