Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
