I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
