Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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