What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
