Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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