she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
whose parrot is this?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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