I need help removing her.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
