My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
