It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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