I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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