i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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