I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
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