Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I am morally bankrupt
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
