Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
accomplished twins. life is a go
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
