Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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