And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
