3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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