i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
