We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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