please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
