I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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