the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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